|Nicollette, Nicollette ...|
The spirit of comatose reporter Nicollette Sheridan leaves her body, and tries to prevent a real-estate development in a small town.
This is a genuine plotline from an actual movie.
Oh, Nicollette, Nicollette, I love you but this is just too far for me to follow. And way too much for me to swallow.
Because yet again they are all over the schedules like blowflies on a decomposing corpse, only mostly they’re far less fun. Yes, you know what I'm talking about - the sappy xmas with a capital X movies that have been on TV from about the middle of October on and will no doubt continue to at least mid-February.
Enough already, we cry, as we reach for the remote, desperate to escape the cloying sentiment, sugary enough to induce cavities the size of the Grand Canyon in even the most ardent and dedicated flosser.
As if the excesses of the festival that celebrates conspicuous consumption aren't about to drive any sane and sober individual to drink, with neighbourhood lights displays becoming ever more over the top and internet deal emails swamping every inbox, normal TV has been taken over by those determined to shove Christmas down our throats whether we like it or not.
|Alicia: not another xmas movie!|
Here are some synopses from the TV guide (TV Choice magazine) to whet your appetite. The plots seem to get more and more far-fetched, revolving around the lead, usually female, finally finding true love, and increasingly feature angels, miracles or vaguely Christmas stuff magically coming to life and, rather more prosaically, but perhaps slightly more appositely, a disproportionate number of DEPARTMENT STORES and EXECUTIVES.
A Snow Globe Christmas
TV EXECUTIVE Alicia Witt wakes up in another world where she has a family, and must decide which life she wants to lead. [Alicia Witt crops up a lot, especially considering she couldn't act her way out of a seasonal hamper.]
Angels and Ornaments
A Christmas tree ornament of a carol singer comes to life and tries to help his owner find romance. [Let me say that again.] A Christmas tree ornament of a carol singer comes to life and tries to help his owner find romance.
The Perfect Holiday
A girl turns to a DEPARTMENT STORE Santa for help in finding a new husband for her single mum.
Advertising executive Claire Coffee meets a DEPARTMENT STORE mannequin that has come to life, and finds it has become her perfect man.
All I Want for Christmas
A self-centred woman [probably an EXECUTIVE] meets one of Santa’s helpers, who gives her a pin which enables her to hear people’s thoughts. [Who thinks this crap up? I mean, I'm all about suspending disbelief but seriously …]
A Bride for Christmas
After Arielle Kebbel calls off her third engagement she swears off love – until professional singleton Andrew Walker comes along, with a bet that he can convince a woman to marry him before Christmas.
Single mum Alicia Witt is broke and desperate to get a job so she can make her daughter’s Christmas a happy one. With the help of an angel, she gets a position at a DEPARTMENT STORE where she also meets the love of her life.
The Santa Suit
A greedy EXECUTIVE is magically turned into a Santa Claus impersonator, and gains some much-needed Christmas spirit as a result.
|Barry and Melissa Joan: how|
do we live this one down?
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